Archive for the ‘Breaking News’ Category
November 20th, 2009 | 
Author: 
Doh!
What is swine flu? Many people are told to run the other direction when they see someone exhibiting the symptoms. Let me be the first to tell you that unless you’re an old man with a really really bad medical history or a little toddler with a crappy immune system, you don’t have to worry. I know countless of people (^.^ no names mentioned) who had it, and got rid of it in like 3 or 4 days. YES! What I’m trying to say is, if these mere mortals got cured in a matter of days; who’s to say that The Yaya won’t get cured in an hour or two?? Just saying 
. Abidal wasn’t going to play our crucial week anyways, so all the best to him. What really bothers me is that we had the FIFA virus to worry about, but it now seems that the FIFA virus and the H1N1 virus are collaborating with each other to form a new string of deadly viruses (put together ) that will affect all the traveling footballers in the world. The Barcelona official website says that Abidal and The Yaya have viral-like symptoms, a fever and are feeling discomfort. The tests have been carried out and it is has been asserted that Abidal does indeed have the swine flu virus. The test by the way is a very uncomfortable one which involves sticking a cotton bud (or an ear bud ) right up your nostril and waiting for a few minutes before finally pulling it back out and dropping it into some cool chemical thingamagig. If it turns to color A (mind you I hate chemistry ) then you have it if it doesn’t your clear and ready to pounce on some ThongBoi (that’s if he’s even going to feature in the Clasico)
The Yaya, on the other hand, seems to have this thing that prevents normal “human” tests from finding out whether or not he has it, so we’ll have to wait on that one. It’ll probably take a day for the chemicals to decompose his ora (that’s the thingie inside of him that makes him so big and scary) and indicate whether or not he has it. Whether he has it or not, he is going to be sidelined for the match against Bilbao. He is also a huge doubt for the crucial Inter match on Tuesday, but he may be back in time for El Clasico. I want to stress on what Pique said. INTER > REAL MADRID!!! I’ll say it once and only once: We need to remain in the Champions League. We have proven that we can hop on a plane, go to Madrid, pound their goal with half a dozen goals and win the league. The league can’t be won in November, the Champions League can’t be won either but it can be lost..
The Yaya apparently caught the virus while in Africa. A couple of weeks ago, swine flu was rocketing in Spain as a huge number of Osasuna players had been infected. The germs (Abidal and Toure ) have been isolated and none of the other Barcelona players are expected to be infected; but then again, none of us expected Abidal and Toure to get infected either… just saying 
. The medical team has issued a formal statement saying: “We are working by following the protocols that have been set by the health department. We are isolating the players, carrying out treatment and taking appropriate hygienic measures.”
Pfft!
Yep, this is no joke. It has been sensationally revealed that FIFA have imposed a 2 month ban on the Argentinian dumb-ass who couldn’t keep it in his pants after Argentina qualified last month for the World Cup. Everyone had doubts about whether or not Maradona would be cut out for the job. It was one thing when people saw that he couldn’t coach if his life depended on it, but it was a completely different thing when they saw what kind of nut is controlling the dressing room. I am referring to the rather explicit scenes we saw after Argentina beat Uruguay 1 – 0 to qualify for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. It’s no secret that they were struggling their assess off.
It took only a minute for Maradona to come onto the pitch after their decisive win over Uruguay. He practically told the media to join in on his sexual act and continued to do it in front of the fans, the attendance and, of course, (my favorite) the entire world . I mean what kind of idiot would do that on INTERNATIONAL TELEVISION! Makes you wonder if he’s still doing drugs. But anyway enough of that. He left the pitch with his team (the players looked rather perplexed) and made his way to the team bus. Before the bus started moving, he moved aside a curtain and looked directly at a TV camera. He performed the same damn act in front of millions of viewers.
Well guess what he did after that? HE APOLOGIZED ! But that didn’t stop him from being fined 14,800 pounds for his outburst on and off the pitch and banned from world-wide football for 2 full months. That means he is not allowed to be active until the 15th of January 2010. Happy New Year dude ! The disciplinary committee chairman said that they had taken into consideration Maradona’s “sincere remorse” (if such a thing exists ) but also stressed that if he ever repeated these actions again then his future punishment would be much harsher than the current one.
